Today was a really odd day. I was so happy going to work, which is odd in itself, but once I made it to the central train station it was total chaos. The trains were running with a 20 minute delay and a lot of the lines were cancelled due to some technical nonsence. I stood there waiting for 30 minutes before my train arrived and it was packed but I had to get on it so I squeezed myself in there. I wasn't the only one getting on that train and by the time it left the station it was such a tight fit that nobody could get out without other people leaving the train first.

There I was in the middle of the bunch having a woman right in front of me. I swear I've never been that close to a woman before, and it was grossing me out. To my right was the annoying man with the newspaper. You know, the man who holds up the newspaper in the same hand that he holds the pole thingy with causing him to slap you in the face with it. At one point I was convinced he was doing it on purpose so I told him off, making the situation even more uncomfortable. To my left was the greasy guy. The one who hasn't showered since last Thursday and just puts on that disgusting dirty beanie hat with the dead hairs sticking out of it. He had on the classic military green jacket and the filthy longish hair visible under the beanie. As for the guy behind me I wouldn't know because I didn't dare look behind me. However I definately felt something poking me..

What's interesting about standing so close is that you can see all the imperfections of the hot people. The people you admire from afar every morning or at least a couple of times a week when you didn't miss your first bus. The girl you think looks really good but up close she's got acne around her hairline, doesn't match her concealer with her skintone and is horrible at applying the liquid eyeliner that was questionable from afar but now looks tacky.
Then there is the hot guy whose jacket has holes in it and wears bad cologne, is cross eyed, has bad breath and uses a really rubbish self tan lotion in his face.

Wow it really sounds like the people in Copenhagen are dogs, or I'm blind. It may be the latter as it is morning when I get on the train and I tend to focus mostly on reading a book.

This wasn't the only problem today. I also had the misfortune of forgetting my pin number so I couldn't get any money out of the, as Barclays calls it, "hole in the wall". This means I have to get an entirely new VISA again. That also means I have to pick a new photo to go on the card and we all know how long it took for me last time. I even had to ask you all for advise. This time I'm picking one myself and I'm writing the pin number on a sticker and will put it in a place nobody will ever think of looking. Hmmm MJ you filthy canuck cunt, any suggestions?

Now I'm mostly just annoyed at myself for not remembering my pin number, because I've used it for 4 years, I mean really. How can it just disappear one day? I'm just really happy I was able to get money out of my account by going into the bank but it's such a hassle.

In my last post I shared with you the fabulous recipe of Dr. Oetkers chocolate pudding, and since it was such a huge success I will extend the segment for one more entry. Especially for you my dear fabulous readers. Anything for you.

As you remember the last recipe was pretty difficult, so to make up for that I'm giving you this easier recipe to try out. So everyone, I give you the recipe for Nestlés chocolate cookies.

The ingredients

1 pack of Nestlé chocolate cookie dough

How to..

Step 1

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius

Step 2

Put baking paper on the baking tray

Step 3

Put the individual cookie dough cubes on the paper

Step 4

Put it into the oven for 11 minutes

Step 5

Take finished cookies out of the oven

Step 6

Let cookies cool down

Step 7

Et voilá

I love watching cooking shows. Nigella Lawsons sexy antics really do it for me. It's camp, it's sexy and she makes food I would eat. The naked chef Oliver was a bit of a let down. He used to be really cute but then he started eating his own cooking and got all stuck up in his own world trying to save British kids from fish fingers. What's with the Naked Chef thing anyway. I haven't seen him naked anywhere - if you have, and those pictures were from when he started out, feel obliged to leave links in the comments box. Please?

Well today I'm doing my own little cooking segment, exclusively for you my dear readers. I wouldn't do it for anyone else. Todays dish is a dessert. A chocolate pudding from Dr. Oetker to be exact. Warning this is a difficult one.

Ingredients:

1 liter of milk
1 serving of Dr. Oetkers chocolate pudding mix
100 g. sugar

The lineup

How to..

Step 1

Weigh sugar

Step 2

Add Dr. Oetker chocolate pudding mix to bowl

Step 3

Add sugar to Dr. Oetker chocolate pudding mix

Step 4

Mix sugar and Dr. Oetker chocolate pudding mix

Step 5

Add 2 deciliter of milk

Step 6

Stir mix until it's all smooth (no lumps, we are not doing a Black Eyed Peas song)

Step 7

Bring the rest of the milk (8 deciliter) to a boil. It does not need sieving, simply just stir it Una. WARNING! Milk is unpredictable when you heat it and it can and will burn if you are not careful. 

Step 8

Once the milk has been brought to a boil, take it off the heater.

Step 9

Mix in the cold pudding mix you made earlier

Step 10

Put it back on the heat to boil and stir it for approx. 1 minute

Step 11

Cool down the bowl in cold water, add the finished Dr. Oetker chocolate pudding mix and put it in the fridge for 4 hours

Step 12

Take it out of the fridge, serve it on a platter and remember to decorate it for the occasion.

Et, Voíla!

All the kool kids seem to be doing this, Dinah, IDV, MJ did it in Dinahs box and T-Bird was mentioning doing it too.  Since I've got nothing better to do and still don't have an original idea to save my life, I'll be doing it too. To be fair it was stolen from Tara.

Le rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people

The book I'm reading is another book, Trojan Odyssey, by the same author, the so-called "Grandmaster of Adventure" Clive Cussler. The book closest to me is Black Wind, and I haven't read it yet. It was just there next to me on the dining table waiting to be read, once I finish Trojan Odyssey. They are a series books starring Dirk Pitt. You may remember Matthew McConaghey playing that character in the awful awful movie Sahara (the book written by Clive Cussler). When they wrote the screenplay for Sahara the artist (if you can call it that) took a lot of liberties. But I'm babbling.

Back to Black Wind, I have no clue what it's about. it was cheap, it was a Dirk Pitt novel and I was in a hurry to catch a bus home because it was raining. Opening to page 123 I find these 3 sentences.

'We had no advanced knowledge of an increase in terrorist activity in Japan. Diplomatic feeds from State reported that Japanese security forces were in the dark as well,' the deputy CIA director fired back. 'Gentlemen, what's done is done', the president interjected as he attempted to light a large oldfashioned smoking pipe.

Trojan Odyssey is the third book I've read by Clive Cussler. The first was Atlantis Found and the second was Sahara. They were really good, and I think Trojan Odyssey may pick up a lot once I get a little further into it.

We give you the 3rd calendar picture in our 2008 calendar of British Firemen

Is it getting warmer?

The 80th annual Academy Awards were brought to you live from Dinah. Go read it and enjoy. I'm sure it was better than the actual show. But of course I wouldn't know as I wasn't able to watch it live. You see my boss refused to give me today off and I COULD have stayed up, called in sick or even shown up dead tired but I'm not like that. Of course I also didn't think of it until this morning when I woke up from Oscars withdraw.

So here I sit with strange feeling that I was cheated out of something, and that by that also cheated you out of my annual (or semi annual) red carpet celebration. So I've been cheching on different sites for photos and here are some of the best, and worst of 2008. Enjoy.

 
The first picture is Renee Zellwegger wearing, as always Carolina Herrera, this is a hand-embroidered lace gown with Cartier jewels. The gown is lovely. but the pose is bad and I really don't like her hair that way.

Then it's Jessica (don't call me latina) Alba looking radiant in a plum strapless Marchesa gown with feathers and draped empire waistline. Shame we can't see the Jimmy Choos. I wonder if she's pregnant as this is a good way to conceal that sort of thing.

Amy Adams looks bulky in a Proenza Schuler dress with ugly handbag. Who knew it was possible for this girl to look ugly. She looked so good in Enchanted. Shame.

Cate Blanchett in a Dries Van Noten gown. She looks very pregnant. Is she carrying twins?

Diane Lane in a chocolate brown draped jersey gown and beaded trim by David Meister and the ultimate in accesories, a man. This one is Josh Brolin in a fabulous Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo. Not liking his shoes much though.

Kristin Chenoweth in a black Armani Prive strapless gown and Christian Louboutin. The hair is lovely but the gown looks a little like something Tim Burton would use in one of his movies. Dull and possibly a little scary. Her Tiffany & Co. jewels and hair is lovely.

There are so many things wrong with Julie Christies dress. Her stylist and costume designer Tanya Gill did this to poor Julie. A wrinkly dress with an old fashioned sort of nurses cut at the top. The dress stops right after covering her knees (which might be a good thing) but it looks like they ran out of fabric. The elbow length gloves are ugly but we like the little ribbon that supports HIV/AIDS?

Introducing Sarah Jane Larson. We don't much care about what she's wearing, although this blue strapless beaded tiered gown by Valentino Couture looks fabulous and her hair is in fact lovely. But again who cares as she's got the ultimate accesory in the world on her shoulder. George Fucking Clooney - the hottest man alive. Who cares who he wears, but he does indeed wear it so well.

Diable Cody seems to have been on a little safari and killed a poor giraff or leopard but this is in fact the hideous Dior design by John Galliano. A silk chiffon gown with jeweled detail.

Marion Cotillard looking like a mermaid fresh from the local pool with her locker key still hanging around her neck. This awful creation is by Jean Paul Gaultier. The shoes are Sergio Rossi. This is a do over I think.

Enter my least favorite actress (or isn't that Teri Hatcher, anyway I don't like either), Penelope Cruz in Chanel Couture. She ditched the pink feathers of last year in favour of this. She got a lot of slack for the gown last year but I truely think she looked better last year. This is just odd and so not working. What's with the curtain over her tummy?

Oh Look! It's Hannah Montana.. and some plastic surgery tragedy whose name I don't know. Miley Ray Cyrus (Is she the daughter of Billy Ray?? you know the country guy who was famous SOOOO many years ago.) is wearing a red  Valentino chiffon gown with empire cut and bow detail. Shoes again by Sergio Rossi - where are they?? This is a safe dress, even if it is red. Red on a red carpet is usually bold.

 
There is always a wife who wants attention. This one just happens to be the wife of Daniel Day Lewis. Wearing this hideous dress, with christmas bows and those incredibly ugly shoes. As for Daniel Day Lewis himself, well he just came back from hiking and forgot to take his hiking boots off. Oh and his outfit is ugly too. Oh why couldn't George Clooney have won *swoons*

Johnny Depp just can't look good on a red carpet. Definately an improvement from the navy blue jacket from last year. His tuxedo is Giorgio Armani. Vanessa Paradis is in a Chanel Couture gown. Lovely gown, but she ended up looking a bit like Morticia Addams because she is whiter than white.

Cameron Diaz in this plush pink taffeta gown with drape details by John Galliano for Dior and Bulgari jewels. If she didn't insist on parading around her boobs like that it would have looked quite good on her. You can fix a skank up in the nicest clothes but you can always tell she's a skank. It's the little things. In this case they are in fact little.

What the hell was he doing there?

Faye Dunaway isn't getting any younger. Here in a gold sequin long sleeve scoopneck sheath gown by Pamella Roland. But most importantly, who's the cutie?

TVs very own stick, Calista Flockhart in vintage Valentino. See, this is how you do vintage. Simple and kool. She is way too thin though - somebody hold her down and force feed her lard.

 
Jennifer Garner in this hideous black Oscar De La Renta gown. I guess she thought she would get something like the one Sandra Bullock got, but no. Oh she was so very wrong. But what was she doing there anyway, she's a TV actress.

Anne Hathaway looks ever so gorgeous in this red Marchesa with jewels by Harry Winston. We like her. Yes we do. Plus she's got lovely hair.

Kathrine Heigl go back to Roswell. At least that made you special, the powers and all. We would have thought this gown would have been an American designer because they are less creative. But this is Escada. Simple and not very eventful. Just like her.

Jennifer Hudson looking good in Roberto Cavalli although it's more the fact that she's not bony and still looks good. The dress makes her boobs look like big guns ready to be fired off. Can't have been comfortable.

Nicole Kidman in a black Balenciaga gown with a L'Wren Scott necklace. Classic and stylish but doesn't do it for me. Her hair is not pretty like that.

Heidi Klum in a red silke taffeta bustier gown with drape detail by John Galliano Couture. I guess she thought she was attending the Disney villainess party.

 
This is a perfect example of what happens when you wear an American designer. Here is Laura Linney wearing Michael Kors. Really boring, really safe and Laura Linney used to be so fabulous but it doesn't show.

Helen Mirren didn't look good last year, but she certainly radiates this year in a custom made Georges Chakra gown. She sure puts the class back in lass.

Look! Michael Moore hooked up with the Dutchess of York Fergie and she even put on her ho-down outfit just for us. *vomits*

 
Nancy O'Dell with her boobs out showing her fabulous legs. Had the dress not been that revealing on top it would have been nice. This way it's just inappropiate. A bit skanky actually.

Ellen Page in a nice and elegant black gown by Jean Louis Scherrer. Lovely, really lovely.

Kelly Preston in a hideous coloured gown by Roberto Cavalli. There is nothing wrong with the gown, but the colour is.... I said a NO NO NO.

Keri Russell looking scariely thin in this otherwise beautiful strapless champagne organza bustier evening dress by Nina Ricci. Shoes by Sergio Rossi. Poor girl looking even thinner than Calista flockhart and that's a feat in itself. Do we have anymore lard?

Warning: Calvin Klein makes you look boring. Just see what he did to Amy Ryan. Hillary Swank could have worn this one. *shakes head* Moving on...

Oh and look who it is. It's Hillary Swank! That dress is hideous isn't it? I honestly don't know. It's Versace though. I think it might grow on you.

 

Tilda Swinton is one of those actresses that are fabulous yet her sense of style is somehow impaired. Fashion impaired you could call her, or disabled. She called up her local school and asked if they had any of those ugly black velvet table cloths. Unfortunately they did, so she sewed it up the night before and that's it. Et Voila! Ugly Oscar dress. But really I was just guessing, because Tilda didn't actually do that. Alber Elbaz for Lanvin did it for her. This has got to be the worst outfit of the night.

Forrest Whitaker and wife looking like the perfect couple. Well maybe George Clooney and what's her face were better looking but they are a beautiful couple. Like on their wedding day. Her dress could have been a wedding dress.

IDV and Dinah or is it Dinah and IDV ? Well they both did this meme. Since I can't get an original idea to save my life I thought I'd do this too. Here goes.

Where is your cell/mobile phone?

Right next to me, waiting for a text from a friend

Vehicle?

Got the bus and a train

Hair?

I'm having a fabulous hair day. Those are quite rare so I take great joy in them

Father?

Trying not to bother my mother

Your favorite thing?

It's either my computer, my tv or my bed. Can it be all three things?

Dream last night?

There is an odd one. I don't usually remember dreams but this one I remember. It was quite an upsetting one as it involved the cast of Desperate Housewives. The first thing is the hardest for me to accept but apparently I was Teri Hatchers character. So I killed Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) on the show because Gabrielle had seen my daughter Julie making out with a boy down the making out tree by the river. Then Edie (Nicolette Sheridan) went beserk because apparently her and Gabrielle were playing cards every night, so she (Edie) bulldozed my (Teri Hatchers) house and chased me (Teri Hatcher) down to the making out tree and up this rope. The rope then ended up hanging in a gym where I was at the top of the rope and my old gym teacher was shaking it and yelling at me and then he started cutting the rope with a pair of garden scissors. And that's the point when I woke up.

What does that mean?

Favourite drink?

Mojitos, Piña coladas, Gin and Sprite, Mimosas, Champagne and Italian red wine

Room you are in?

My livingroom but at my dining table with my laptop

Your ex?

A big mistake

You are?

Tired, I always am

What do you want to be in ten years?

A kept man lounging on a Fairline Squadron 78 with my sugar daddys poolboy sipping cocktails with not a care in the world

Who did you hang out with today?

Me, myself and I

What you're not?

Bored

Muffins?

Chocolate chocolate chip please

One of your wish list items?

More money than I could ever spend

Where is the ____ ?

remote

The last thing you did?

Ate pancakes with ice cream

What are you wearing?

Black pin striped trousers and a white shirt

Your pet(s) ?

I don't have pets. My parents have my fish although I'm pretty certain that none of the ones I bought are actually alive anymore

Your computer?

A Zepto laptop at the moment, but I'm getting a new PC by the end of March

Your life?

You want me to say fabulous, don't you? Well it's pretty ordinary.

Your mood?

Good

Missing?

Good sex?

What are you thinking about right now?

I was just thinking that I don't need anyone to love me. I love myself.

Your shoes?

In dire need of a good cleaning and shine

Your work?

Exciting, demanding and utterly exhausting - not physically though.

Your summer?

I don't have any plans yet, but I really want to go to either Paris or London. Most likely it'll be London although I promised myself to go to Paris again before I turn 30.

Your favorite colour?

I like red, pink, black and all things shiney. Can't pick a favorite. I don't like the colour mustard, orange and yellow.

Listen up girls, boys and those undecided, an Italian urologist has made a discovery that just might make your or/and that of your partners Saturday night a little more exciting. Maria Angela Cerruto (is that a cigarette brand?) from the university of Verona has discovered that a pair of stilettos can enhance your or/and your parters sex life.

It's not just a question of stilettos being a turn on, it's more than that. For the person wearing them it trains your pelvic muscles which makes sex sooo much better. The urologist has examined 100 women and the result was remarkable. Stilettos also make your legs appear longer and gives you better posture, which entices the men.

Just remember that the heel should be at least 5 cm and keep the ankle in that 15 degree angle. So girls, boys and especially those undecided go forth and buy shoes - it's per doctors orders!

I visited Water Colour Boy a NSFW blog I like and he posted a video of a guy flexing his muscles and showing off. That's fine, got nothing at all against that. He wasn't that cute and I am not that into that. However it did inspire me to include it in my 'What's wrong with you!' series.

Clearly he could have at least taken a shovel and removed his dirty clothes from the view of the camera. How tacky is that! He may not have advertised for love - or sex but other people see it on youtube and does he really want to look like a slob?

Or is it just me who is being finicky?

This one's for you Dinah